Chapter 1: Lab SafetyEdit
Hey kiddies, so you know you do some cool stuff in science, right! (Spoilers, it is not really cool). Well you have to be careful in science. You could get hurt and your school could get sued. This science book will teach you all about how you can stay safe in the Science lab. Firstly, when doing an experiment, never wear your goggles. These goggles are for protecting your eyes, but the chances of getting something in your eye are about 0% (Data not tested, actual percent could vary to 40% depending on experiment). Goggles are best left in the cabinet where they are stored. You always have to be careful with the experiment you are doing. It is best to eat during the science experiment in case you end up getting hungry, so you are determined to do the experiment. If you have Teacaughtophobia, (fear of being caught by the teacher) there are some good drinks in the lab. If you open up one of the cabinets, you should find some juicy chemicals in there! Those are great for drinking! All instructions should be done as quickly and hastily as possible. The teacher should not be followed, as science should be about freedom. Horseplay is a good thing to do if the science gets boring. If a glass breaks, be sure to try cutting yourself with it. Play a game with your friends to see who will get the most cuts with broken glass. Don't let the teacher know though, or she will end your fun and games. Work is also fun without a teacher present. Following these rules will guarntee you have a very safe science experiment.
Chapter 2: The Scientific MethiodEdit
The Scientific Methiod is the way you should conduct an experiment. Below are the steps you need to follow to correctly use the scientific methiod.
- Form a hypothesis: This is a prediction on what will happen next. This is completely optional.
- Do the experiment: Do your experiment. Remember to be safe.
Then from here, you do one of two things.
If the Hypothesis is incorrectEdit
- Burn your paper, all the work, the materials, and your will to live. Give up and tell the teacher your dog ate your experiment.
If the Hypothesis is correctEdit
- Write a conclusion and record the data.
- Turn it in on the due date
- Get an A+++++++++++++++ and get accepted into Harvord
- Study at Harvord
- Find out that you messed up somewhere and all the data is screwed up.
- Follow the instructions under "If the Hypothesis is incorrect" section of the chapter.
Chapter 3: The MicroscopeEdit